Questions

1. Why must men be annoying?
2. Why do I have to care about my weight?
3. Why don't I ever meet any suitable men?
4. Why can't I eat cake all day not gain a single kilogramme?
5. Why must unavailable or unsuitable guys always be interested in me? (I need to do serious prayer and fasting)
6. Why can't you date a guy who has been with your friend?
7. Why can't I get round to finishing my masters application?
8.Why am so prickly? things that shouldn't annoy me do..
9. Why do find this one yellow boy kind of cute? So weird... Please let us keep to the Status Quo
10. Am I really Picky? I don't think so but What do I know?

Thank You's and Other things

Thank You’s and other things

The usual thing to do when we break up with people is moan and whinge about how terrible they were. Which is fine,  because it hurts and sometimes the feeling of betrayal is immense. We talk to our friends/family about all the things they did wrong, all the things they could have done better.  Which is also fine,  because it may also be part of the healing process.

However we forget to speak to ourselves and really mediate on what we have learnt from the relationship. Granted this isn’t the first thing that comes to your mind, after you find out your girlfriend slept with your second cousin twice removed, but I think it is part of the process, so somewhere down the line it should happen.

We forget all the good stuff, like what they have taught us and the reasons why we got with them in the first place. The lessons we learnt while we were with them. How they bettered us or how the break up should better us.

I think exes are unappreciated. Yes he is a lying rat bastard but what about that time he carried you all the way from the city centre to your house because you said your feet hurt, even though he knew you were lying , or the time he jumped into a cab to see you at 2am because you were sad that your granddad had died, or that time he went all the way to Best Shawarma in Surulere to buy you Shawarma  because you mentioned that you wanted some. This is an ode to my exes. Well not really an ode because I am not a fan of poetry more of little brief notes.  

Adeyemi

From you I learnt most of what I know about being in a relationship. Patience, Kindness, apparently men like to get compliments too, who would have “thunk” it. I’m still passive aggressive, but i’m trying to work on that but hey nobody is perfect. I’ve also started yelling a bit more. I don’t know if this is a good or bad thing. You always said you prefer I yelled and forgot about it as opposed to keeping quiet about the issue for a day or two..... oh oh yes, most important thing I took away (and I forgot but remembered again), never let a fight last more than 24 hours. ‘It don’t worth it’. So Thank You. Too many lessons learnt here. I would need a whole blog post but in summary, you were and are still such an amazing person and I don’t think I have told you that in a while. 

Tayo

To you I owe a lot of who I am today. From you I learnt about reading books and articles that didn’t include ‘”a strong tall barbarian, rescuing a fiery young damsel, who didn’t want to be rescued”. You would call me and try and discuss politics with and the silence would just be embarrassing. So I thought “deez bad I have to do better”. So yeah. Tainzz. O also VERY good friends with a partners friend is a No. Be Cordial and Friendly but move it along.

Well I seem to be on a roll so I might as well say thank you to some of the guys I’ve dated along the way. Plix just to be clear this is over a period of 5 years. My friend read this piece and thought I had dated all these people recently. *side eye* You know who you are. You must think we are all like you :-p

Adeola

*Sigh* what can I say, that Christmas holiday was magic. Thank You. That holiday I realised that the saying “Age is nothing but a  number” isn’t just a cliché. I’ve dated older guys and few have come close to treating me as well as you have. I’m really sorry for being so stupid and saying it would never work and saying we should just be friends when you asked to take it to the next level. I was stupid and young. The lesson I took away from this is above all Character and Maturity matter the most. I really should give you a ring to say hi. Actually I will.

Kola

 Ah you!! Hian!! I don’t even know what to say.... You scarred me for 3 months, with your mauling. Ha!! I have never drank so much saliva in my life. Mbanu. I know this is supposed to be only good things but I just had to mention you. Worsterest Kisser in the history in kissing. Okay maybe I shouldn’t have just cut you off , and maybe I should have told you but I’m sorry you were too bad.

Bode

From you I learnt that I had morphed into this selfish monster. *Shivers*. Thank You for helping me check that. Also you constantly told me I was pretty. Lavvvvv It. Didn’t help with my vanity  but I’m working on it. You also killed my super model dreams with your “I think you are beautiful the way you are” Mr Foolish.. Because of you I am currently downloading Jillian Michaels 30 day shred. -_-. So clap for yourself. :-p

Seyi

You taught me about Forgiveness. Revenge is for the weak.

Dele

Apparently the shades of grey are very numerous. You think , “ I will NEVER do this”, you meet the right person and you are hiding inside a guy’s closet because you slept over and his mother randomly comes to knock on his door to ask him to come for fellowship. And instead of leaving she stays to chat for a while and you are wondering “ ah, kini gbogbo rada rada yi” (What is all this nonsense?).  From this one guy I learnt Temptation is everything. When you like/are attracted to someone you have to be firm or you will end up doing things you look back on and think “This is not me, and I don’t want this to be me”.

He who must not be named *angry face*

I’m laughing as I type this because I’m just realising how silly I was. You cannot force yourself to like somebody because every other thing is right, and everybody keeps telling you how perfect he is. So yeah. Daiz what I take away. We should just have remained good friends. On the Brightside, when my friends ask about you I no longer hiss and say that silly boy.

And in summary, well there is really no need for a summary, I’m sure everyone gets the general message I am trying to pass across. Learn and Be Better for the Next one.

Radom Musing 1

Feminist is such a dirty word. To me it has come to represent everything that is wrong with woman kind. With the increased use of this word I feel like the fight for equality is constantly being eroded. As more people become “enlightened”, the more trapped I feel women have become. To understand true Feminism is to revel in all that being a woman entails. It has nothing to do with bitterness or Anger towards men; it has nothing to do with showing that if a man can climb a tree I must as a woman go up that tree. For me feminism is about choices. The ability to. It is the, If you want to climb that tree you can, there is nothing stopping you, but if you don’t want to climb that tree it is also okay. It isn’t “well since women are able to climb trees now men don’t have to climb the tree”, or “why aren’t you climbing the tree, are you not proud to be a woman”, the statement I hate the most “, Since she is a woman and she can climb the tree, why does she need my help, she says she can climb it let her climb it now *sneer*”  neither is it “ Hahahaha I’m not going up any trees, she is woman she can climb her own damn tree”.