I miss him

As I speak with him, i type and I will say what I cannot...... I MISS YOU...... sigh....

I was so stupid to break up with you but i was proud but now I know....

And now you have someone else and I have gone through a long list of silly somebodies.

But I am happy for the friendship we have and I hope we have this forever.

And I know I never said it but now that I think back I think I must have loved you.

Mayhap

I don't know.

Anyway you will always be my favorite EVER

LoL

And now your lecturing me about being too picky -_-, please buzz off abed... LOOOOOL

Sooooooo

ummmm yeah.....

I'm sorry

Anyway moving on from the formalities

I saw something about being sad and happy at the same time and i felt like i could relate just that i am not happy and sad, more like content and discontent. One minute I love my life and the next minute not so much. When i say not so much i don't mean it in a I want to slit my wrists way but in a ' SCREEEEEAMMMMMM why is my life so mundane sort of way'

*sigh*

I used to think I was very uncomplicated but now I know myself better and on a scale of 1- 10, 10 being the most complicated I am an 8.5... working on it but it is a slooooow process

I find everything so boring and done nowadays....

Well apart from last thursday when I almost had a melt down while driving. I was 2 seconds away from tears. Then I decided to go and get a smoothie from silifabud, met a friend there and my day got better.

The most important thing I learnt last week is that it isn't over until God says it is over.

That being said I am now a fatty mc fattie., as i type this my size 10 jeans are begging to be taken off, I can hear it's cry for help, the whimper ' please, please'

Sigh. Pilates tomorrow. Round One. And E is such a bitch I know she won't take it easy on me


xoxo

Fictional Bucketlist

Saw this on pinterest and I decided why not:

1. Be kissed by Gambit  (X-Men)

2. Hang Out in Foreman's basement (That 70's Show)

3. Work at the Mayor's Office (Spin City)

4. Have a drink at the Cheer's Bar (Cheers)

5. Fly on Carpet (Aladdin)

6. Be picked up for a date on Appa (Avatar)

7. Ride around in the BatMobile (Batman)

8. Have Sex with a servant of Kushiel (Kushiel legacy series)

9. Have a chat with Dumbledore over tea (Harry Potter)

10. Go on a date with Archie Andrews, I really do not see what the fuss is about. He is a ginger kid who isn't exactly the best looking kid in the comic.

11. Water bend with katara (Avatar)

12. Put on my customised Ray Ban's, stand in my nice black suit, say 'Look at me' and Flash Somebody (MIB )

13.Decode a name from the loom (Wanted )

14.Visit Camp Half-Blood (Percy Jackson)

15. Move in with Penny for a week (The Big Bany Theory)

16. Slap Jean Gray , she is such a silly female (X-men)

17. Plan and Execute prank with The Weasley Twins (Harry Potter)

18. Have a late night gossip session about Dorrien with Sonea because she so desperstely needed a friend at some point (The Black Magician Trilogy)

19. Flirt with James Bond

Life

I have a Job Interview on Thursday *sigh* This growing up thing sucks

Recently I've decided to do this thing where everyday I do or wear something stylish and i've been doing well up until today. Today I just look like the hot mess that I usually do. *sigh* again. What a huge set back.

I think i am developing Anger Issues. The little things annoy me now. Or maybe I have always have anger issues but they were dormant. Anyway I don't want you. Please go away. Now I find myself having to stop myself from snapping at people, and I don't always win. I need to pray about it.

I have been doing a lot of reflection recently and quite frankly I am not where I used to be or should be. Sigh. And I know where this slippery slope started. Now I am here. Do I dig myself out or continue to wallow in mediocrity.

I love that my blog is anonymous. i wish i had the foresight to make my twitter account anonymous. i wish there was a way to be anonymous on Bbm. I cannot wait to buy the new Samsung S3.

I should to this I am thing  saw on a friends blog... * deep breathe*. I will do two versions. The good and the bad

I am Insecure
I amOverweight
I am Sad
I am Lazy
I am a Spendthrift
I am the girl who has never been in Love
I am Antisocial
I am Beautiful
I am Passionate
I am a Friend
I am a Sister
I am a Daughter
I am a book worm
I am the girl who cares about random strangers
I am the girl who tries to treat everyone equally
I am the girl who wants to be closer to God
I am the girl who cries in sad scenes in movies or cartoons
I am the girl who cares about politics and current event
I am the girl who likes to see her friends happy
I am Confident
I am Brave

*sigh*
I am a lot of things. I really need to work on the negatives... oh well *skips off*

I’m Here For You

By Mila Jaroniec 

Four words and a thousand different interpretations.

Sometimes, when people say “I’m here for you,” they mean “I’m here for a while, for an hour or an evening. You’re a generally good person and I enjoy your company and I know you have to vent right now, so I’ll listen; I’ll even bring the beers if you want. But I probably won’t stay the night.”

Sometimes, when people say “I’m here for you” they mean “I don’t know what else to say to your sad story. You floored me and I have absolutely no advice, nowhere to go from here. All I can do is sit here with you and absorb. Hope that helps.” Other times, “I’m here for you” means “I’m here for you but I’d rather not be, it’s just what you’re supposed to say in these situations so I don’t know. I’m offering, but I hope you don’t actually take me up on it.”

See? Different. Sometimes it means something, sometimes it doesn’t. Sometimes the people who say it might as well be commenting on the weather, the brunch they just came home from. The words come out but they don’t resonate, emptied of their meaning, just tiny bare word packages floating across a synapse. And sometimes the people who truly mean it never say the words at all.

But when I say I’m here for you, I mean it. I mean it differently. Genuinely. Let me explain.
There’s a part of friendship that’s more than camaraderie and good feelings, more than having someone to hang out with all the time and bullshit with on lazy Saturday mornings. There’s a part of friendship — real friendship — that’s fierce love. The part marked by understanding, protection, sacrifice. The strong part. The selfless, human part. The part that would move your body in front of theirs to take a bullet without a blink or second thought.

And that’s why I want to tell you I’m here for you — because I am. Not in the therapist sense, not in the let’s-talk-about-our-crap-boyfriends-over-martinis sense, but the real sense: I love you enough to make room for your pain in my heart and handle it like my own. Or better than my own, because my own usually ends up stuffed into a back corner of my brain and left there to ferment into a viscous, sour liquor.
I’m here for you honestly, sometimes painfully so. I may not have firsthand experience with the exact thing you’re going through, but I know what it means to hurt. Hurt translates pretty well. I know what it’s like to feel silenced, shut down, wounded. To feel like there’s no one who really understands, or cares, or will even make the genuine effort; to feel like even talking about it is nothing but a pointless stirring of air. I care about you too much to make you feel that way alone.

I may not give the best advice, or even moderately good advice, but I’m here for you. I may not give you any advice at all — sometimes there just isn’t any, just try what sucks the least and hope for the best — but I’m listening. You can talk to me about anything you want; your fears and apprehensions, the things you’re afraid to acknowledge let alone say out loud. They probably won’t go away but maybe they’ll get smaller and a little easier to deal with, and that’s still something.

I’m here for you when you’re giving up, when you’re exhausted. I’m here for you when you’ve got no more left. When you’re overwhelmed by the bleak truth and vast helplessness of it all, the ache, the emptiness; I’ll hold your hair back when your sadness makes you sick, hold your chattering bones when you sob in my arms like a hysterical child. I’ll listen to your words or your silence, whichever you give me. I’m here for you when there’s nothing left to say.

I’m here for you, put it on my shoulders. I’m here for you when your heart is squeezed dry, dehydrated and dark like shriveled weeds. When you open your mouth to speak and no sound comes out because language can’t articulate the white noise in your head, can’t wrap descriptors around its frequency, I hear you. Pour your tears into me, wet my shirt sleeves and dry your eyes with my hair.

Genuine friendship is a rare thing and that’s why I want to tell you I’m here for you. And when I say I’m here for you, it’s because I need you too — your existence makes me lighter; your presence helps tease out the mess of the world. Is that weird? Are people allowed to feel that way about other people anymore? There are people all over the place, we’re always stuck in this incredible anthill, but when we find the one person we can actually trust and let our guard down with we cleave to them like dust to sweat. And we’re not trained to feel this way. We’re supposed to be so evolved, so independent and self-serving, that sometimes we forget what it’s like — and that it’s okay — to need someone to love us, take care of us, take on our emotional weight.

I’m here for you because I am that person, and because you are that person for me

LOOOOL

I just read the funniest thing.... It has but me in an amazing mood. Not like i was in a bad mood before but now i am chipper... My friend is hilarious... Read it Here

In other news I feel like I am tired of some of my friends. I just want to lose my phone and not talk to anyone for about a month. do a sort of cleanse. I know too many people and yet i still feel so lonely sometimes.

You Don’t Like Me

By January Nelson 

It must be so hard being you. It’s always trying to be decisive, to say what you know deep down is right even at the risk of coming off less-than-perfect, to cut a cord when you’re not entirely sure what you want.

We’re together. Or we’re not. Or maybe we’ll get together. Or maybe we’re somewhere in between. I like you. I think about you constantly. I want to know everything about you. I want to be around you.

Though you haven’t said anything directly, it seems obvious that you’re not as on board. You’re vague. You’re flakey. I could forget about it. I could be delusional. I could hear what I want to hear and ignore my gut. You tell me you’re in it, but you seem really out of it. Maybe you think I don’t realize. Maybe you think you’re fooling me. I hate to go all Greg Behrendt on you but I know: if you were into me, you would act like you were into me.

So what’s going on here is: You don’t like me.

Okay, whoa. Whoa. Don’t get defensive. Don’t shush me. Don’t start countering my point. You do like me. You do. You like me a lot. You just…have some issues, some things to work out, some dilemmas Nelly-And-Kelly-style. You’re just an aloof person. You’re just bad at showing love. You just feel awkward about intimacy. You’re just not always present. You don’t mean to be that way. That’s just what you’re like. You can’t help it. It says nothing about me.

Your distance is palpable. It’s disappointing and expected. It’s this weird elephant in the room that is our relationship, whatever it is. I can sit here all day and make excuses for you. I could say things like: “He had a really hard family life so he just doesn’t do affection.” “He hates answering text messages during the daylight hours.” “He’s just grumpy around people with faces and hair so he doesn’t want to meet any of my friends.” “He’s really busy with his skateboarding business right now.”

No. Nope. Uh uh. If you like someone, you find a way. If you like someone, they invade your thoughts and actions involuntarily. If you like someone, you’re on fire. If you like someone, you make room for them in your brain and in your life — no matter what else is going on. (Or even better, you don’t have to make room. You just feel like they fit.)

So let me help you out, dude, because you want to say anything about our situation but the most basic truth.
You don’t like me. You. Do Not. Like. Me.

Sure, I’m fun. I’m easy to be around. I seem great. I like you. But I don’t make you crazy. I don’t make you sweat. I don’t make you interested. You don’t think about me when you’re in bed at night. You don’t need to see me, to touch me, to talk to me. You don’t wonder what I’m up to or what I’ll do in the future. You like me fine, but you don’t like me.

You’re a nice person so you don’t want to say it so bluntly; Either you think it’s mean or you’re noncommittally trying to keep me around for rainy day boredom. You’re full of excuses and you never take action, but you’re not an outright d-ck.

You just don’t like me. Doesn’t that feel better?

I’m taking the burden off your shoulders. I’m alleviating your tension, your obligation, your pain. (I mean, never mind my own, right?)

No more growing anxiety wondering if you should wait 24 hours to call me back. No more coming up with elaborate excuses for why you can’t meet me and my friends at the bar. No more pushing yourself to feel about me the way I feel about you. Let me just wipe those stressors right out of your life. Must have been such a difficult time for you.

I hope I could eliminate your guilt. I know it must have been hard, all this time, bandying back and forth between wanting to keep me or not hurt me and facing up to your non-feelings. No more looking at your phone and sighing instead of answering flirty texts. No more leaving me in your bed while you go do work on your computer. No more talking about “slowing down.” I’m not a dope. I get it.

You’re free. More importantly, I’m free.

You don’t like me — so today, I set us both free.


I'm going to post some of my favorite though catalog posts. I really like this one because it is both sad and beautiful

One More Stupid Love Song and i'll be sick

Alo Alo, I just love saying that.... along with my new slang Loly.... oh well

So I've been thinking a lot lately and .... *sigh i cant even finish this*

the Long and Short of it is that I am a quitter, one day i am really into something and the next day i'm not. I'm trying to change this.

Just Decided that everyday for the rest of the week i am going to write a post about my faults... as they say acceptance is the first stage to recovery....

Wednesday: Vanity and Greed

Thursday: Sheer Laziness and On Being a Spend Thrift

Friday: Well when friday comes I am sure something will come up....

On to happier things

Two of my friends got together this weekend!!! Whoop Whoop.... Apparently they are sort of an item... -_-, whatever that means.

Anyway i know i pushed and i convinced but now that they are finally together I am sad. I don't know why. For some strange reason I feel like it will all crash and burn and I will have to choose sides. I don't want to have to choose. :-( .... *Fingers crossed it works out*

Nothing on the Love Life fronts... This rut has been going on for too long

One of my friends is quitting her job... YAYYYY!! I'm so happy for her, she was too miserable in her old place.

I have decided to make my life a runway. I will make an effort every day for a month. Let us see how that goes... I am quite excited actually. The other day i wore this cute and very sexy dress (if i do say so myself), just to visit a friend  (side eye a female) and I was happy at all the comments I got

I have wayyyy too many clothes, but this is one for thursday.


That being said,
Peace, Love and Chicken Grease
Till Tomorrow Mon Amie

10 Things I No Longer Need to Kow

1. How to solve Quadratic equations. That was such a waste, like a wasssstttteeeeee

2. My Old Postcode's

3. Half of the things I learnt in Nigerian Law School

4. My Asos password, shrug I just use my sisters' account to order stuff

5. The names of my Ex-boyfriends siblings. Such a task. I kept forgetting and they both kept getting angry. Talk about accepting people as they are... pftttttt

Well  I said 10 but I can only think of  5 right now. Will write another post.... hopefully... maybe.... never

OHO

Hi.

Bye.

Okay.

Maybe.

Not.

I wish I had a posh british accent. That way i could say things like Blimey and not sound silly. Oh well.

It is strange how your perspective on life can change in a day.

On wednesday I was happy to sit back and coast , and by today I know where I want to be in 5 years.

Big Shout Out to the SIAO team i'm working with. You guys are amazing and once you make us millionaires I will mention your name in every article or seminar we give.

Purpose

Is

What

I

Have

I have discovered Pinterest. and as you have guessed, I so much love it. *hugs self*. I have never thought of my wedding day, like Never, but now because of pinterest i even have a wedding board. X_X... yes I am ashamed but shrug, i don't care.

Anyway till next time. Ciao.... keez... and what not.

Landan Townnnn

I'm off to london on monday.... woooosh..... i am super excited...

But wait I hope I don't get pulled over to the side by immigration for owing money.... LOL.... Nevuuuur

You see what Nigeria has turned me into.. I am actually looking forward to going to london.. London that I used to look upon with disgust... Situation don make crayfish bend....

I cant wait to go to hollister just to gaze upon the beauty of te male staff and maybe get a pair of jeans -_-, but mostly to gaze...

My Dad is the most wonderful man in the world. He just randomly suggested it. I think I am being rewarded by God for being such a sport because i secretly wanted to go but couldn't ask...

*hugs self*

You know that feeling you get when you are about to do something you shouldnt but you will anyway ------> Summary of my non-existent love life at the moment

And Lekan if you read this, You are a Loser :-p.. Just because I said so, and as I am the captain of the cruise ship, it must be true.

A few Articles i felt were quite interesting...

I stumbled on this website today. www. thoughtcatalog.com * hugs self*

here are a few articles i found really interesting

http://thoughtcatalog.com/2012/what-happens-when-youre-really-into-someone/

http://thoughtcatalog.com/2012/how-to-win-a-culture-war-and-lose-a-generation/

http://thoughtcatalog.com/2012/thank-you-hillary-clinton-for-not-caring-what-people-think-about-your-looks/

Untitled

What is in a name?

Moving on swiftly

Colorful Wedges = Slutty Girls, It is sad my mind has registered it this way. :-(, Lagos Girls are always doing the most when it comes to trends. Now with their ascrambo ways they have managed to kill wedges for me. Went on Asos now to order a very nice pair but I just could not do it. BITCHES....

In other news, i am dressing nicer to the office, all of a sudden I can be bothered, take it as practice for when I get a job at a bigger firm where the boss isn't as much of a douche, oops did i just say that oh well.....

I've been feeling a little lost on and off... What is my purpose, What if I don't achieve it? but the absolute worst is What if I am poor when I grow up?

A good friend of mine had a run in with armed robbers. I've recently learnt the power of praying for others so i have been saying a little prayer for him everyday. I've started saying a prayer for my friends that need it to be honest.

May 6th 2012- The day I spoke in tongues. I cant even explain how I felt. I just kept crying. and not the cute type of crying. I had mucus running down my nose but I felt God like I have never felt him before. It was great. Now I find myself more conscious of what i have been asked to do, which is be an ambassador. * sigh* This is going to be hard but all worth it. :-)

The Kiss

I woke up this morning, to a very beautiful message from the wrong person. Why is life like this? Why can't you like who likes you as opposed to who you know is attracted to you but isn't interested in anything serious? He keeps replaying our kiss (I forgot about it the next day)but I keep replaying another one. Actually I lie, replaying is a stretch, I thought about it for like 3 days then forgot, but still 3 whole days, I think for me that is serious replaying.. My attention span when it comes to boys is too poor.. I don't want to be a whore *weeps* LoooooL.. That being said... this is my blog of the moment... hilarious.... http://madphury.blogspot.com/

Emotions are a piece of white trash.

They are like those monsters in fantasy books that look like spiders that just creep up on you, one minute they are there and one minute they arent

I absolutely hate feelings.

It is the creeping that is even worse. Why cant they sent you an e-mail the day before " Hello Alias, feelings here, we are coming for you at 7.30 pm right after the phone call with Mr H. " That way you can avoid the conversation with Mr H and still be able to have a good time

I want to go back to the days when detached was my MO... This catching feelings thing is not nice....

I keep forgetting to wear deoderant like what is happening to my brain....

I have locked lips twice with two different people in the space in the space of 4 days.... My market is obviously selling. Actually maybe not. The first was le horrible. Worstererererer. Agro is a bastard. Friday is a bastard.....looooool..... I should have waited for the second. And the second *sigh* I've been making goo goo eyes for 2 days. Which is quite poor since I know that it wont be happening on a regular. Loooong Story....

I keep ordering stuff off Asos... I need deliverance..... I also need to lose weight.... The trials and tribulations of a food whore :-(


Wedding this weekend...... wooooooosh....  I am starting to loveeeeee weddings..... so much funnnnnn

I know it has been a while and i want to blog i really do but then i forget... bleh

Kiss Me like You Want To Be In Love

I absolutely Love Ed Sheeran.....

My friend thinks i'm weird because my favourite song on the plus album is the one about a druggie prostitute but * shrug*. I love A-Team

Downside to listening to all this ed sheeram is that it is killing my " Single and Loving it" buzz... Actually a lot of things seem to be killing that buzz. Was speaking to a friend who is apparently going through a mid-life crisis at 24 *side-eye*. and then he goes on this rant about how he has been single for 3 years.  I start mocking him and then it occurs to me.. Hold on....  I would have been single for 3 years in April... what a mood kill... Some people just know how to drag you into their pit of despair.

Pfttttt......

Im also quite tired of everyone saying in wifey material. Another friend said this to me last night and I felt like slapping his dirty face. i don't want to be wifey material. i want to be normal. Go on dates. Have random Flings... Ugh.... if only the average Nigerian Boy didn't have verbal diarrhoea... You hold his hand and he has gone to tell his friends he has done you doggy style and na reverse cow girl remain or something equally as silly....

But still

Kiss Me Like You wanna be in love, Like you wanna be in love. This feels like i'm falling in love,

Questions

1. Why must men be annoying?
2. Why do I have to care about my weight?
3. Why don't I ever meet any suitable men?
4. Why can't I eat cake all day not gain a single kilogramme?
5. Why must unavailable or unsuitable guys always be interested in me? (I need to do serious prayer and fasting)
6. Why can't you date a guy who has been with your friend?
7. Why can't I get round to finishing my masters application?
8.Why am so prickly? things that shouldn't annoy me do..
9. Why do find this one yellow boy kind of cute? So weird... Please let us keep to the Status Quo
10. Am I really Picky? I don't think so but What do I know?

Thank You's and Other things

Thank You’s and other things

The usual thing to do when we break up with people is moan and whinge about how terrible they were. Which is fine,  because it hurts and sometimes the feeling of betrayal is immense. We talk to our friends/family about all the things they did wrong, all the things they could have done better.  Which is also fine,  because it may also be part of the healing process.

However we forget to speak to ourselves and really mediate on what we have learnt from the relationship. Granted this isn’t the first thing that comes to your mind, after you find out your girlfriend slept with your second cousin twice removed, but I think it is part of the process, so somewhere down the line it should happen.

We forget all the good stuff, like what they have taught us and the reasons why we got with them in the first place. The lessons we learnt while we were with them. How they bettered us or how the break up should better us.

I think exes are unappreciated. Yes he is a lying rat bastard but what about that time he carried you all the way from the city centre to your house because you said your feet hurt, even though he knew you were lying , or the time he jumped into a cab to see you at 2am because you were sad that your granddad had died, or that time he went all the way to Best Shawarma in Surulere to buy you Shawarma  because you mentioned that you wanted some. This is an ode to my exes. Well not really an ode because I am not a fan of poetry more of little brief notes.  

Adeyemi

From you I learnt most of what I know about being in a relationship. Patience, Kindness, apparently men like to get compliments too, who would have “thunk” it. I’m still passive aggressive, but i’m trying to work on that but hey nobody is perfect. I’ve also started yelling a bit more. I don’t know if this is a good or bad thing. You always said you prefer I yelled and forgot about it as opposed to keeping quiet about the issue for a day or two..... oh oh yes, most important thing I took away (and I forgot but remembered again), never let a fight last more than 24 hours. ‘It don’t worth it’. So Thank You. Too many lessons learnt here. I would need a whole blog post but in summary, you were and are still such an amazing person and I don’t think I have told you that in a while. 

Tayo

To you I owe a lot of who I am today. From you I learnt about reading books and articles that didn’t include ‘”a strong tall barbarian, rescuing a fiery young damsel, who didn’t want to be rescued”. You would call me and try and discuss politics with and the silence would just be embarrassing. So I thought “deez bad I have to do better”. So yeah. Tainzz. O also VERY good friends with a partners friend is a No. Be Cordial and Friendly but move it along.

Well I seem to be on a roll so I might as well say thank you to some of the guys I’ve dated along the way. Plix just to be clear this is over a period of 5 years. My friend read this piece and thought I had dated all these people recently. *side eye* You know who you are. You must think we are all like you :-p

Adeola

*Sigh* what can I say, that Christmas holiday was magic. Thank You. That holiday I realised that the saying “Age is nothing but a  number” isn’t just a cliché. I’ve dated older guys and few have come close to treating me as well as you have. I’m really sorry for being so stupid and saying it would never work and saying we should just be friends when you asked to take it to the next level. I was stupid and young. The lesson I took away from this is above all Character and Maturity matter the most. I really should give you a ring to say hi. Actually I will.

Kola

 Ah you!! Hian!! I don’t even know what to say.... You scarred me for 3 months, with your mauling. Ha!! I have never drank so much saliva in my life. Mbanu. I know this is supposed to be only good things but I just had to mention you. Worsterest Kisser in the history in kissing. Okay maybe I shouldn’t have just cut you off , and maybe I should have told you but I’m sorry you were too bad.

Bode

From you I learnt that I had morphed into this selfish monster. *Shivers*. Thank You for helping me check that. Also you constantly told me I was pretty. Lavvvvv It. Didn’t help with my vanity  but I’m working on it. You also killed my super model dreams with your “I think you are beautiful the way you are” Mr Foolish.. Because of you I am currently downloading Jillian Michaels 30 day shred. -_-. So clap for yourself. :-p

Seyi

You taught me about Forgiveness. Revenge is for the weak.

Dele

Apparently the shades of grey are very numerous. You think , “ I will NEVER do this”, you meet the right person and you are hiding inside a guy’s closet because you slept over and his mother randomly comes to knock on his door to ask him to come for fellowship. And instead of leaving she stays to chat for a while and you are wondering “ ah, kini gbogbo rada rada yi” (What is all this nonsense?).  From this one guy I learnt Temptation is everything. When you like/are attracted to someone you have to be firm or you will end up doing things you look back on and think “This is not me, and I don’t want this to be me”.

He who must not be named *angry face*

I’m laughing as I type this because I’m just realising how silly I was. You cannot force yourself to like somebody because every other thing is right, and everybody keeps telling you how perfect he is. So yeah. Daiz what I take away. We should just have remained good friends. On the Brightside, when my friends ask about you I no longer hiss and say that silly boy.

And in summary, well there is really no need for a summary, I’m sure everyone gets the general message I am trying to pass across. Learn and Be Better for the Next one.

Radom Musing 1

Feminist is such a dirty word. To me it has come to represent everything that is wrong with woman kind. With the increased use of this word I feel like the fight for equality is constantly being eroded. As more people become “enlightened”, the more trapped I feel women have become. To understand true Feminism is to revel in all that being a woman entails. It has nothing to do with bitterness or Anger towards men; it has nothing to do with showing that if a man can climb a tree I must as a woman go up that tree. For me feminism is about choices. The ability to. It is the, If you want to climb that tree you can, there is nothing stopping you, but if you don’t want to climb that tree it is also okay. It isn’t “well since women are able to climb trees now men don’t have to climb the tree”, or “why aren’t you climbing the tree, are you not proud to be a woman”, the statement I hate the most “, Since she is a woman and she can climb the tree, why does she need my help, she says she can climb it let her climb it now *sneer*”  neither is it “ Hahahaha I’m not going up any trees, she is woman she can climb her own damn tree”.

So I can finally fit into a size 10 again. How many years has it been again.... God is really great... But i still have thunder thighs, aunty risika arms and my stomach is not victoria secret worthy... so i apparently have to go to the gym to tone up.... in celebration of my weightloss i devoured one packet of m and m's and another packet of minstrels (150g each) X_X.... i obviously have a problem.

Why do boys ask about my bra size. It is the sleaziest thing ever. Like i dont know you that well and even the guys I know well arent privy to my size and underwear preferences. The things people will ask you... pffft... It is just like me saying. Oh hi, how many inches is your D.... I like this the D thing people have started saying.

I forgot to wear deoderant to work today..... *sigh*.... have to keep my fingers crossed and my movement restricted.

Is it just me?

Am I the only one that finds that nigerian men cry too much? By cry i mean general complaining, whinging and general bitchass behaviour.... Ugh I cant stand it. Be a man. If I say something you don't like. Tell me you don't like it, not go off on a stupid tangent. -_- talking about how girls are this and that.. My friend shut up your dirty mouth. We Girls are just managing you and you are still complaining. Nigeria is the kingdom of the blind, where the one eyed man reigns supreme and the 2 eyed men are hiding somewhere, waiting for a revolution that will never come if they dont suck it up, grow some balls and say ' hey, I am going to be different. I am not going to be a cheating , rat bastard'

The State of Things

Is the Fuel subsidy removal really the main problem? No it isn't. Because if our government was one that we were sure would use the money to improve the standard of living of the people. We would bear it because we know that at the end of the day it would be for our benefit.

But our government is not like that. They will embezzle the money and only enrich themselves. Not caring about the poor, or even the middle class(strangely enough no-one ever cares about the middle class. It is always the poor. Anyway that is for another day.) As I was telling my friend today our parents are the people that got us into this mess. So how do we get ourselves out so our own children won't be able to say the same about us.

Protests are springing up left, right and centre. I'm not saying protests won't work but it has to be " One People, One Voice". The other day I saw someone tweet something about " when will the protest come to lekki so I can join in" . I'm thinking so the people that drove to ikorodu to join in the protests are foolish abi. Lawyers have organised two different protests for today and tomorrow. Surely it doesn't speak well of our NBA that private individuals have to organise individual protests. Shouldn't there be a resounding trumpet call and all legal professionals will gather under one banner? I guess not.

And then these petitions the youths are signing. They are a waste of time. So when the petitions are signed then what. You hand them into the government?? Oga's secretary will squeeze it and throw it inside the bin before it gets to the governor or who ever.

*sigh*

I know I'm rambling but I have too many things to say on this issue.

Just venting since apparently venting on twitter may get you flayed. A follower said something about how she wishes the movement hadn't been named #OccupyNigeria and people started attacking her saying " does the name matter and what not" which is fine in itself. The name doesn't matter. Disagreeing with someone is part of life. We will never all agree. It is the tone of disagreement I have a problem with. At the end of the day her point is valid. This is not an occupy movement. We adopted a word without actually thinking about it. Why can't someone comment on that? The person is not belittling the movement in anyway so why attack like rabid dogs..

Oh yeah back to the protests.. *sigh* I don't know what to say. Our government does not care about us. That is the real truth. . They have no heartstrings which will be tugged. They will only see it as a small nuisance which the police can come and sort out with tear gas.

Big Massive Thank You to the Kano Protesters. What they did is amazing by any standards. And when this is over the state should erect some type of monument and get some type of reward because they have made history..

I remember suggesting an economic strike and I was shut down. The NLC suggests it and suddenly we are all on board. Things that the NLC have however not considered
- How will the poor feed : You cannot call an indefinite strike when people will go hungry. How about organising food drives first.
- How will you convince people not to go to work for the whole period. After the first couple of days I feel the market women and the cobblers and the meat sellers will go back to work. Why? Because they don't really understand why we are fighting. They may not understand the long term effects. For them as long as they can pass on the price increase to their customers they are fine..

What I believe in is a strategic economic plan. First of all infiltrate the houses of the governors and the presidential villa's. Convince the people who work there not to go to work. Trust me if GEJ had to go outside to put on his generator or cook his own food or buy his own Nepa credit then he will be willing to listen. As I see it, it will just be a waiting game which the government will win as they get free fuel and have stockpiles of food already at their command. Make them actually suffer and they will be more willing to negotiate.

Obviously I use these things as a representation. Once the government starts losing money because of an economic black out they will sit up and listen and it has to be one that will stand the test of time. For now what the NLC proposes might fail. I hope it doesn't because I would rather be told " I told you so" as opposed to saying it.